Change is Upon Us

So I read an article by another blogger today which you can find here: The Edges Collective: Fighting for my Wife

It touched my soul because I’m dealing with a seperation of two people who love each other dearly but have lost the other things that a marriage needs. 

To be in love. To want to make love. To want to spend forever with each other. 

While this may not be permanent and just another stone in the river to cross for our relationship it is something that must happen.  

During this time I will be branching out. Making friends and making plans that I keep with someone other than my husband. 

Making plans with myself too, to take care of my health, my fitness, my life, and most of all my son. 

I’m scared. 

I’m scared I won’t have enough money.

I’m scared of being alone. 

I’m scared of failing. 

But from it all I have hope. Hope that my dreams are a reality and this change will bring us closer than ever. 

Hope that I will be able to overcome this oppressive self doubt and low self esteem. 

Hope that I will succeed.

And if we don’t I know I will be a better woman for it. A better mother. 

A better me.  

Because I’m always growing and this will be the largest one.  Now the future is a bit grim. My heart is a bit broken, and my mind a bit frazzled.  

But only hope will keep me going (with a healthy dose of reality too)